Golf has its own language, and Aussie golf has a dialect on top of that. Whether you're new to the game or you've been hacking around the local course for years, here's what everyone is actually saying out there. (Fair warning: four of these are also towels.)
Preferred lies
Officially, "preferred lies" is a local rule clubs switch on when the course is wet or in poor shape. It lets you lift your ball on the fairway (or anywhere mown that short), clean it and place it within a set distance. The club decides how far, often a scorecard length. You'll see it a lot through an Aussie winter.
Unofficially, it's what happens when a round isn't going to plan and the best lie on the course is a deck chair. That's the koala on our Preferred Lie towel.
The 19th hole
A round has 18 holes. The 19th is the clubhouse bar. Plenty of golfers play it better than the other eighteen. Our 19th Hole towel is for the mate who's already thinking about it on the 9th tee.
"Opens up over there"
Said with total confidence as a ball heads somewhere it shouldn't. It might open up over there. It usually doesn't. Two kangaroos have the same conversation on our Opens Up Over There towel.
"Right club though"
The kindest thing your mates can say after a shot finishes the right distance and nowhere near the right direction. Also used, less kindly, after a missed putt. See: Right Club Though.
Nuffie
Aussie slang for someone who's a bit obsessed with something. A golf nuffie checks Saturday's forecast on Tuesday, owns more towels than clubs and has opinions about bunker rakes. You're probably one. We definitely are.
Gimme
A putt short enough that your playing partners let you pick it up without hitting it. In match play, conceding a putt is allowed under the Rules of Golf. In a stroke comp you're meant to hole everything, so check before you scoop it.
Mulligan and breakfast ball
A mulligan is a free do-over shot. It isn't in the Rules of Golf, so it only exists in social rounds where everyone agrees to it. A breakfast ball is a mulligan off the first tee, for when you didn't warm up because you were busy getting a coffee.
Stableford and "picking up"
Most Aussie club comps are Stableford. Instead of counting every shot, you score points on each hole against your handicap: two for a net par, three for a net birdie, one for a net bogey and zero for anything worse. Once you can't score a point on a hole, you can pick up your ball and move on, which is the best thing that ever happened to pace of play.
Ambrose
A team format where everyone tees off, the team picks the best shot and everyone plays from there. In the US it's called a scramble. It's the go-to format for charity days and work golf days, mostly because nobody has to watch you play your own ball.
Sandbagger
Someone whose handicap is suspiciously higher than the way they actually play, usually discovered when they win the monthly medal by eight. Not to be trusted with the scorecard.
Hacker
A golfer whose swing could politely be called "self-taught". Most of us. The game's better with hackers in it, and so is the bar afterwards.
Shank, duff and worm burner
Three ways to hit it badly. A shank comes off the hosel of the club and shoots out sideways. A duff (also a chunk, or hitting it fat) is when you hit the ground before the ball and it goes nowhere much. A worm burner never leaves the ground at all, but at least it's straight.
Army golf
Left, right, left, right. Zig-zagging down a hole from one side of the fairway to the other. You get there eventually.
Know someone fluent in all of the above?
Every Nuffies towel is named after something that actually gets said on Aussie courses. They're proper 40 × 60 cm waffle microfibre towels with a built-in magnet and a carabiner, $39.99 each or any 2 for $69.99 with free shipping. Have a look at the range.